#Modern #parenting #techniques #traditional #practices
I think every parent sometimes thinks… “Am I a good parent?”
Starting from the question above, I find that I have parents around me who no longer know what the balance is between “What do I know as a parent about my child?” and “What does society encourage me to believe about my child?”
We are, after all, the first generation that grew up with the key around their neck and raise their children with the phone in their pocket (that is, a kind of extension of their )
We are the generation that I always hear about – in my time I didn’t have what you had and I was fine…
We are, at the same time, the generation that has access to the most parenting courses, specialists in various fields, webinars, etc.
And so, we find ourselves caught between two completely different worlds in which we find ourselves in the situation of choosing which is the best method of raising our children.
Today’s parents between tradition and information
We do not lack information, but peace. The fact that we receive advice at any click, at any minute does not really help us in the long term.
We also have the voices of the grandparents that begin with… “in my time…”
So we juggle between empathy and authority, between letting the child experience his emotions and not letting him cry. A game between ancient discipline and modern love.
I always have discussions with my children about emotions (you can say that by the nature of the job, but I think I’ve always had an inclination towards observing my emotions and those around me). And so many times I hear another adult saying – what are you doing and explaining this to him, do what you say and that’s it?!
And, yes, I had many moments when I thought that the way I approach children’s education is wrong because I don’t conform to the society in which I live. But I strongly believe that a discussion about what the child feels can get you out of many other difficult situations in the future.
Why do I think this? Because I am convinced that an emotion not managed in time will create more emotions in the future and misunderstandings on the part of the child. I’m for empathy! 
Traditional practices that still have value
Not everything that is old is wrong, let’s face it. Many things make sense even now and I support them:
– Clear routine – children feel safe when they know what is expected of them
– Respect for the rules – we have unwritten rules that every member knows (and if they forget, I’m there to remind them). Limits are the guide of freedom.
– The time spent in the family – the evening meal that is never missed and after which we discuss what is happening in everyone’s lives, summer walks in the evening, game nights, discussing the menu, etc.
– Balanced discipline – children know that every action has a reaction. That is, without fear, but with everyone’s responsibility. They know that a bad grade comes with certain limitations and that they have certain responsibilities that cannot be overlooked.
If we wear them gently, they can all become compasses, not chains.
There are some modern techniques that I think add value:
– Validation of emotions – the child needs to understand that he is not “defective” or “broken” (as I heard in many workshops from children). He needs to know that parents also have emotions, that they also make mistakes or find it difficult.
– Conscious parenting – meaning the real understanding of my child with his specific needs, with real qualities and abilities, without judgment or comparisons.
– Non-violent communication – understanding the dynamics between parents and children and how we can gently set limits but also how and when we can break some rules. The child also needs to make mistakes in order to have more confidence in him. It seems paradoxical but it is not at all. He learns more from consequences than if he always did things perfectly.
Of course, there is also a “mine field” and it is called – the conflict between generations
We oscillate between:
– “the fight is broken from heaven” and “no punishment, only natural consequences”
– “eat everything from your plate” and “listen to your body and choose as much as you need”
– “no screens at all” and “leave it as everyone has a tablet/phone”.
Sounds complicated, right?
Honestly, there have always been and will be differences between generations. And it is perfectly normal to be like that.
We have a saying – “some things only make sense for our family and it’s good to be that way”. Each family has its own rules and values. It was not always simple. I always heard – “but why can Alex stay at the tablet for 5 hours and I can’t?” or various other questions – comparisons.
But through repetition, perseverance and determination, the children understood that rules are not made just to be broken
Sometimes the children are amused by saying – Yes, we know in your time, of the dinosaurs…
And look like that, little by little we reached a “hot” topic – whatsapp groups, perfect parents in the schoolyard, the internet, children who never eat sugar, only quinoa…
Does this sound familiar?
I also have good news!
Perfection is boring! Children need authentic parents, not perfect parents. He wouldn’t even recognize them.
We choose what suits us as a family, not what looks good on Instagram.
But how do we find this balance?
Combining stability, tradition, empathy and, above all… LOVE.
This is how we teach children that relationships are built step by step.
In the end, it doesn’t even matter how modern or traditional your parenting style is, but how authentic and connected you are with your own child. Because love remains the best guide, no matter what “times” we come from.
And if nothing else helps, Melatonin is the best sleep aid. After a good night’s sleep, every situation looks different.
Rhodiolin– helps you to be calmer and settled, and Menopausal helps you stay healthy with your hormones (if you are a woman).
So, the next time you wonder if you are doing well – breathe, look at your child and remember that it is not about perfection but about connection and love. About being there even when you don’t know exactly how. 
With gentleness and gratitude,
This article was written by…
Maria Frunza
personal development trainer and advisor for adults and children
I have always liked to know what is behind things. Initially it was about watches and toys. Later I understood that we were making decisions in accordance with something that comes from inside us. Emotions were the ones that opened the way to my personal development and to the development of my self-confidence and that of the little ones I work with.
I always say not to let our emotions control us, but to learn to control them ourselves!
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